Grady Lane McGowan


Jett Aubrey McGowan

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December 15, 2009

Confessions Of A Rookie Dad #4

Confession #4 - I Love To Burp!!

Babies that is... mine in particular. Having Jett has reminded me just how fulfilling getting a huge ole belch out of such a little person can be. You know the drill. Baby is fussing right after eating so you lay him/her over your shoulder and give'em a few good whacks on the back (don't go all mall massuese on your baby though). And then, if you are a little skilled and a whole lot lucky, your child will momentarily turn into a grown man while he/she expels pent up air in a loud reverberant fashion. There have been a couple of times recently when even I have turned my head to make sure my child hadn't suddenly grown a beard.

Now, there's a difference between needing to burp your child and loving to burp your child. Don't be confused or beleaguered by this statement. It actually boils down to two things: Competitiveness and Mutuality. The competitive nature in us wants to get that burp out and when the burp comes it is mutually satisfying for baby and burper. It's really a win-win situation! But woah to you who are chomping a the bit to grab a stranger's baby and commence burping. There are a couple of things you need to know.

#1 Spit-up is the enemy. One should never attempt to burp without a burp cloth, which in my opinion, would be more accurately named a spit up cloth. Don't be too confident or just lazy because at that very moment it is guaranteed that you will feel all kinds of warm goodness running down your back or shoulder...Mmm Mmmm... or on your nice shirt. It's not worth the risk. Listen, in the words of an old DC Talk song, "I had to learn the hard way. I guess I'm the type of guy who has to find out for my self."

#2 Positioning is key, but it is different for every child. Some like the over the shoulder, others prefer the choke hold or the lap lying positions. There are inherent pros and cons for each, but you've just got to try'em all! The perfect mix resulting in baby happiness and both parental and clothing cleanliness will come to those who work at it. Soon, you too will love to burp.

This is just to get you started with your new burping love affair!

What are some of the finer things you have learned while burping?


P.S. Do not attempt without a burp cloth! Pride cometh before a fall!


Lead Finger said...

OOO, OOO, I've got one! If you hold your baby under their pits and let them kinda hang loose for a minute before you start burping, it helps all that air come up and makes burping easier. Actually, my girls usually burped this way before I even got them over my shoulder.

Lead Finger said...

PS, "Lead Finger" = Ashley Netzer...and I need you or your wife to email me your address again. Our Christmas card to you came back to us.

Lindsey said...

Aubrey, you are hysterical. Now that I'm a mom and am enjoying watching my husband figure things out, this blog is even more enjoyable!