The pressures of parent life are too many to number. Worries about what on earth we'll feed this kid, he's a trash compactor... or about how many close calls he will have between the fire place and the face before our first ER visit... or about how long before your child has one of those meltdowns in a restaurant that is completely uncharacteristic of him and you are completely surprised ;) (you know the ones where everyone looks over at you with this "you and your child are the bane of our existence" glare.) But all of these pressures are preceded, superseded, yea anteceded by this: the responsibility of choosing a name.
With such a weighty decision at hand, we at the McGowan Consortium have chosen not to leave it to the powers of chance, Aquarius, or the 5th dimension. Neither have we chosen the flip and point in the baby book, the casting lots, or drawing straws method. No, in fact we have come up with a three step process for selecting the perfect name for any child.
1. Forsake all baby name books and websites. Yes, you must resist the urge to purchase 10,000 Obscure Baby Names That No One In Your Neighborhood Has Considered. You must also avoid the temptation of staying up 'til the wee hours of the mornin' scouring every baby website for that perfect name. **The only baby name book you may purchase is The Baby Name Wizard, which is an intriguing statistical analysis rather than a compilation of meaningless fabricated mashed-up monikers. ***If you do not heed this warning, you may end up in a mental institution.
2. When you find a name that has potential, use it. Call the baby that name. Moms talk to your baby saying things like, "Gertrude, wouldn't you love to have some ice cream? I know mommy would." And dads, listen carefully! Talk to mommy's belly in the best baby talk you can muster saying things like, "Hey little Gawain, I can't wait to change your first poopy!" **Additional note to dads: If you feel like the bless-ed child is not hearing you, feel free to use your wife's belly button as a microphone therefore increasing the vocal resonance in the uterus. ***The "use it" method will tell you very quickly if the name "Quincy" is the right name for your child or for a late 70's detective television series.
3. When you find a name that works, stick with it. Get ready for people to love it or hate it. It's inevitable that Aunt Maude will feel the need to point out that, in her opinion, "that's not even a name", but stay strong and stick to your guns. After all, it's your child anyway, right?
That having been said, after employing this method judiciously over the past few months, we have finally come up with a name for our little man-to-be. In just a few short weeks or maybe tomorrow, little Jett Aubrey McGowan will make his grand entrance into our world. We are so excited to meet him. The journey to his name has been longer than expected, but well worth it. One of our late favorites was Landry, but after step 2, it was clear that this wasn't a fit. Jett kind of came out of nowhere as a surprise winner, but after step 2, it was the clear choice. This kid is surely a Jett. Sometimes we stop and think, "Are we crazy naming our little boy Jett? He's probably going to be wild already, but now he's guaranteed to be over the top." But hey, the method is tried and true. As for his middle name, that was Mommy's idea, not mine. But I can't say that I don't like it! :) We can't wait to meet him!
P.S. It also bears mentioning that his initials will be JAM! Ha!