Ok, so it's been quite a while since we updated our loyal readers on all things babyish here in the McGowan household. Well, all you're getting today is a teaser, because it's 11:55 at night for cryin out loud!!
So Jen and I have not subscribed to the unsolicited baby advice magazine, but little did we know that every expectant mother and father gets signed up for a free subscription. I think it's some weird conspiracy theory that the hospital hoodwinks you into after you have your baby. They say something like, "We won't turn over your little bundle of joy until you sign this legally binding agreement promising that you will liberally divulge all of the knowledge you have gained in the last 10 months about pregnancy on any and every person you know, remotely know, see across the street, in the mall that is, looks like, or smells like they are pregnant or rubs their belly in a suspicious manner even if they are still holding the soggy Krystal carton. In addition, you must also take it upon yourself to rub any and every pregnant or suspected-pregnant belly that you see, so as to spread the general discomfort felt by all pregnant ladies who have been touched by an eager uninvited toucher. Finally, you must not tell anyone of the secrets of this contract or we will send your child to a legalistic religious Montessori school, make them wear tights and you will foot the ivy-league bill. Sign here _________."
The whole point I was making is that we have opted not to take the free advice of some that would say we need to sleep now and get rested for when the baby comes. No, we stay up late and wake up in three hour shifts every night just to spite those eager two cent-ers... Well, we haven't gone that far, but we sure aren't storin up sleep. It's against our religion... You know, don't want to be caught sleepin' when Jesus comes. Just ask the ox that lost his feeding trough.
I wonder what kind of advice 'ol Mother Mary would give anyway...
"If Gabriel shows up at your house, don't be afraid... you're already pregnant."
"You are gonna learn so much from this child."
"Don't worry, not everybody can have a perfect child?"
"Oh, don't get me started on hospital accommodations!"
"Super-natural is the only way to go!"
Ok... I'm done... please forgive me if I offended your deep rooted affections for Mary.